Why Is Kobe Apologizing?

If you didn't know, Kobe Bryant recently called a referee a "fornicating bundle of sticks"

While I won't argue that it was a nice thing to say, I will argue to the death that if such a bundle of sticks were to officiate a professional basketball game, it would at least have the gumption to recognize this play as a traveling violation:

But I digress...

Now I do understand a few major points on professionalism.

• He's at work
• His job takes place in the public eye
• Millions of impressionable minds look up to him 
• It was an unprofessional outburst and above all-else "mean."

So his apology reads:

"What I said last night should not be taken literally. My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period. The words expressed do NOT reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were NOT meant to offend anyone."

He was also fined $100,000 by the NBA for "inexcusable" homophobic language.

- For one, I'm not so sure this was an apology so much as a clarification.
- Secondly, I don't think an apology is necessary.

Yes, the NBA has to protect its WNBA fanbase. Its 0.38 WNBA Finals rating is too massive a blow for This Moron and his brand to handle. The 65% of those viewers that aren't shameless gambling junkies might take issue.  But if you're telling me that making an example out of Kobe Bryant does America's Bitch-Assness Level any favors, then you probably think Kirstie Alley makes a good Rumba partner and we have nothing more to discuss.

While I won't comment on my personal use of the insult, I will say that any self-respecting man would either disregard Kobe's statement or draw a figurative line in the sand explicitly stating that further transgressions will incite undesirable consequence.


In this case, Kobe's disapproval of the official's actions had nothing to do with sexual orientation, nor is there any leeway for such implications. He didn't even say it to the official's face (after trying to get the ref's attention, the candid remark was coincidentally caught on live TV).

All things considered, at worst Kobe should have been reprimanded for unprofessional conduct. But it is overwhelmingly apparent that the league has snatched at the first opportunity to slap Kobe Bryant's wrist in efforts to break it... under the guise of "equal rights."

Score one for the punk-asses.

-Spitz

Lebron James' Word Is Dog Shit

OK. Just so we're clear here, the same Cleavland, Ohio bred superstar who refused to take off his Yankees hat at a nationally televised Indians game (citing life-long fan loyalty), has just signed a Brand & Marketing deal making Fenway Sports Group his sole global representative. (If you don't follow baseball, Fenway Park is the home of the Boston Red Sox, and Shrek).

Details in this article.

If you gave any self-respecting Yankee fan the choice between getting AIDS and shaking Curt Shilling's hand, he'd watch the Tom Hanks film "Philadelphia" at least three times and fall sleep on the decision to HBO's 1992 Dream Team documentary before you got your answer.

The kid cares about the town that created the hype around his talent about as much as I care about what happens to (insert any member of the "Sex In The City" cast here) in a dark alley after popping a Yao Ming-sized handful of rufilin.

Michael Jordan cheated on his wife more than Kobe (at least as far as records show), but his image and public conduct were that of a role model. He went through the best and worst of times in the public eye, but not once was his manhood questioned. The "Be Like Mike" era was golden and rightly so. Even this moron could tell you that the strength of Lebron's character doesn't even register on the same scale.

With that said, in the unlikely event that I raise a child under these social conditions and he says he wants to grow up to "...be like Lebron," that will be the day that I follow in the footsteps of Jayson Williams' former limo driver.

-Spitz